ADDICTION A CLICK AWAY

Dr.Sam Kannampally

The Internet provides both tremendous opportunities and challenges for everybody. Children can now easily find information on anything imaginable. Extended families separated by distance can close the gap by using the Internet to swap pictures and e-mail. However, the Internet is not without its problems, and your discernment will be required to get the best out of it for your family. Like the television, however, this new medium has proven to be a sometimes ill-mannered house guest.

As an unregulated medium, the Internet delivers illegal and undesirable material right into the home. Even families with no Internet service in their homes are affected by access in cyber cafes and friend's homes. How do you provide yourself and your family the practical benefits of Internet technology without compromising your values?

New technology and resources are available to help parents build walls of safety and protection around their family's Internet use. However those walls will disappear as children leave the home and use the Internet in other places. For that reason, parents should also build character in their children so they can have an "internal" filter to guide their online activities everywhere they go.

Responsible Internet use requires a commitment to vigilance; an understanding of both the promise and the perils of the Web; and a willingness to learn how modern technology can safeguard your loved ones.

Addicted to Cyberspace

Addicted to the Internet? Is that really a credible form of "addiction?"

The Internet is a good way to find information, communicate with others, relax and be entertained. But for people with problems, the Internet offers an unhealthy escape to an alternate reality. Because the Net is useful and socially acceptable, abusing it isn’t classified as unacceptable as alcohol or drug misuse - but it’s just as real an addiction.

Like any addiction, the Internet becomes trouble when it interferes with other parts of users’ lives. If sleep, schoolwork, job, social life and schedule are affected, there’s a problem.

A study conducted by ABC News and psychologist David Greenfield concluded that almost 6 percent of computer users, or more than 11 million people, suffer from some form of Internet addiction.

It isn't just the endless porn sites and chat rooms that concern addiction specialists. Increasing tolerance of long hours spent online, withdrawal symptoms and unsuccessful efforts to reign in out-of-control Internet use are all characteristics of what some professionals call Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). Here are a few areas where cyber junkies get hooked:

Sexual interaction: Even teens venture into sexually charged adult chat rooms, cybersex and porn sites either by accident or intentionally.

Online relationships: Teens struggling with low self-esteem may tune out friends and family to meet and impress people with a made-up identity online. Cyber interaction replaces reality.

Compulsive behaviors: Online gambling, auctions and obsessive trading may start innocently. But because dollars aren’t changing hands at the moment, a user may not realize how much he has spent until the bills come in. Some might steal credit cards from parents or friends to pay the debts.

Info searches: School research can lead to obsession with finding more interesting Web sites. Gaining knowledge is good, but it’s wrong when the search controls the researcher.

Fun and games: There’s nothing wrong with having fun and relaxing, but the line gets crossed when it interferes with normal life and activities.

According to Dr. Kimberly S. Young, Clinical Psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford, and founder of the Center for On-Line Addiction (COLA), the Internet is a much more addictive than television and radio because it's interactive, anonymous, and unregulated.

COLA reports that more 70 percent of those diagnosed with IAD (specifically in the area of sexualized behavior) never had a problem with sexual issues prior to going online. This, however, does not discourage the millions of people who have Internet or cyber affairs.

Churches, too, are beginning to speak out on Internet addiction. The Roman Catholic Church, for example, recently took the position that cybersex indeed qualifies as adultery, and both pastors and Christian counseling agencies are being bombarded with couples seeking help.

"ACE" Model for understanding Internet addiction

Anonymity. The addicted individual doesn't have to worry about his/her spouse finding magazines hidden under beds or in closets. There are no 1-800 numbers to show up on the phone bill, and no chance someone from church will see them leaving an adult bookstore. It's between the user and the receiver on the other end. A computer-illiterate spouse will seldom discover what their spouse is doing online.

Convenience. In the privacy of your own home, you can access the world simply by logging on. With just a few keystrokes, you have romance, games, adult material and much more, literally at your fingertips. There is no need to leave your living room, change your clothes, fix your hair or spend money on expensive dates. Men who normally would not rent an adult movie will download pictures of women. Women, who would never think of talking sexy, find themselves in sexual relationships online.

Escape. Some addicted individuals perceive the Internet as a tranquilizer, others as an adrenaline rush. If the individual is having a bad day, he or she may find relief by getting on the Internet. You can be anything or anyone you want to be on the Internet. When you're online, extra pounds simply melt away, as do children and "inconvenient" spouses. You can live out a fantasy.

Logging off Internet addiction

Breaking an Internet addiction may not be easy. It’s more than simply pulling the computer plug. Like other addictions, the underlying cause must be fixed. If the Internet is being used as a substitute for friendship, you may need help learning to make and keep friends. If the Web is a way to escape reality, it might be necessary to learn some coping skills. A school or church counselor can help with these and other problems that keep you turning to the Net.

An important part of breaking out of the Web is replacing addictive uses with positive Internet habits. Here are some suggestions to help establish your own rules.

· Schedule your Internet time - when it doesn’t conflict with family or church activities.

· Set a specific time limit. When time’s up, turn your computer off - no matter what. Set a timer to remind you.

·  Put a computer block on areas of the Internet those are too tempting for you.

·  Make a list of positive, useful sites. Stick to those sites.

·  Never log on when you’re supposed to be doing something else.

·  Avoid logging on at a friend’s house, at school or at the library.

·  Get involved in social activities and hobbies unrelated to the computer.

Most importantly, if you feel you might have an Internet addiction - or are getting too close - talk to a trusted adult. Get some advice before you become further entangled in the Web!

God promises a fulfilling life (John 10:10), but addictive behaviors make it hard to experience. The good news is that He is right there ready to help us through any problems that we face - including Web addiction.

As an unregulated medium, the Internet delivers illegal and undesirable material right into the home. Even families with no Internet service in their homes are affected by access in cyber cafes and friend's homes. How do you provide yourself and your family the practical benefits of Internet technology without compromising your values?

Responsible Internet use requires a commitment to vigilance; an understanding of both the promise and the perils of the Web; and a willingness to learn how modern technology can safeguard your loved ones.

Internet pornography
There's no doubt about it: Internet pornography is a serious concern for today's Christian families.

Internet pornography is alarmingly accessible. And it's proliferating at a disturbing speed. C-net declared in 1999 that online pornography was the first consistently successful e-commerce product. According to the National Review Online, the porn industry brought in an estimated $8 billion in 2000.

Every day, an estimated 260 new pornographic sites join the more than 75,000 sexually explicit sites already on the Internet.

With its seemingly limitless supply of education, communication and entertainment resources, the Internet can serve as an invaluable developmental tool. Accordingly, Internet skills are increasingly becoming a requisite for competency in both school and career settings.

But even if it were desirable, attempting to keep our children "offline" would be a nearly impossible task. Time has estimated that by 2003, 42 million kids in US ages 2 to 18 will have Internet access in their homes. Those without will easily be able to find access elsewhere.

So what does a Christian to do? Completely ban his teen from the internet? In this technical and computer age, that option is neither desirable nor practical.

There are no easy solutions for protecting teens from online smut. It seems inevitable that they'll continue to have unprecedented, frighteningly easy access to the millions of sites that offer sexually explicit and graphic material. Despite this grim outlook, there are still practical steps you can take to help your teen stay pure in a cyber porn world:

• Monitor Internet use at home: It is best to have Internet access only on computers in an open family area where use can be monitored. This reduces temptation in a major way. Ask your teen to surf only when you're at home. Even without intending to access a pornographic site, your teen could happen upon online filth through a variety of means: Unsolicited e-mail spam, Chat rooms, Instant messages, Stealth sites, such as which choose generic names that have a potential for frequent, unintentional access and Searches for brand names such as Disney and Honda (an estimated 25 percent of porn websites intentionally include popular brand names in their search links).

• Time restrictions: Limiting Internet use to certain hours sends the message that late-night surfing is off-limits and that online use should be balanced with other activities.

• Establish and maintain clear online rules: Since your teen will most likely also spend time on the Internet outside of the home, you must establish firm online rules. Guidelines such as banning chat room access can strategically help shield him from potential problems. Whatever the rules you determine, clearly explain your reasons so you’re teen will be less likely to feel that you're arbitrarily invading his privacy.

• Utilize protective software tools: While Internet filters are far from foolproof, implementing some type of filter solution in your home can cut back on your teen's chance encounters with cyber porn. A variety of both desktop and server-based filters are on the market. Filtering services provide access to the World Wide Web and other Internet features while making an effort to screen or block out offensive material. Many parents have discovered that computer-level filtering gives them greater ability to monitor the sites their child visits, restrict time of day access, and keep their children from giving out personal information.

• Spend time online with your teen: Most kids are infinitely more computer savvy then their parents. Ask your teen to show you what he knows. Showing an interest in his knowledge will help build his confidence while bringing you up to speed on his online activity.

• Maintain communication: Take an interest in your teen's activities by encouraging open, honest discussions about his time online. Initiate conversations and discuss your own experiences, allowing even unfortunate situations to become opportunities for instruction and encouragement.

Although these steps will help, as a Christian parent you must take infinitely more powerful measures to protect your teen's mind and heart:

• Pray: As you pray for your teen each day, specifically ask God for divine protection in this area. Jesus instructs His disciples, "'Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak'" (Matthew 26:41, NIV). Stay alert, and faithfully pray that God will give your teen strength to resist temptation. Claim the promise of 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says that God will be faithful to provide a way out of temptation, trusting that your teen will be able to stand up when the pressure is strong.

• Instruct in holiness: James 1:21 says to get rid of all moral filth and humbly accept the saving power of the Word that is planted within us. Encourage your teen to actively pursue his personal relationship with the Lord, teaching him to seek God's Word and train his heart to honor God at all times. Instruct him to ask for God's help in guarding his mind and in focusing his thoughts on what is pure and good (Philippians 4:8).

• Lead by example: There should not even be a hint of sexual immorality in our lives — obscenities, foolish talk or coarse jesting (Ephesians 5:3-4). Furthermore, we are to purify ourselves from all contamination of body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God (2 Corinthians 7:1). Resist the temptation to justify any form of sexually questionable behavior in your own life. Ask for God's grace to help you maintain godly purity and integrity at all times. You are your teen's primary role model.

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age" (Titus 2:11-12).